


The Blue Top

by BlackWingBecci



Series: It's Complicated [1]
Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends With Benefits, M/M, the original characters are parents mainly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3508520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackWingBecci/pseuds/BlackWingBecci
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just a blue top. But it spelled trouble for Thomas. He could loose Teresa - his best friend, his person - and he sure as hell needed her around to help him deal with his complicated life.</p>
<p>His friends with benefits situation with Newt was a mess and Thomas couldn't get a hold of his feelings. He was struggling to find himself after growing up from who he was back at home.</p>
<p>He needed Teresa, but he wasn't going to hold her back either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Blue Top

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first part of a series based around Thomas and Teresa in university.

“Is my blue top here?” Thomas blinked sleepily at Teresa, who was stood on his doorstep way too fresh and awake for 8am on a Saturday morning. She waved her hand impatiently in his face and Thomas stepped aside to let her into his flat. Teresa had so many clothes hidden around the flat that Thomas had no idea what was in his drawers or shoved down the back of the couch and what was actually left back at her own place. And he was still too asleep to try work it out.

“Well you’re cheery this morning.” She said with a smile and bumped her hip against Thomas’ as she passed to get into the flat.

“It’s 8. It’s a Saturday.” He complained and pushed the door shut. Teresa just smiled back at him and began picking through the laundry Thomas had done the previous day.

“Late night?” She asked with a deliberate look down at his neck. Thomas stared at her as his sleep-addled brain took a few seconds to work out her smirk was directed to the new love-bites adorning his neck. He brought his hand up to cover them, though feeling like a complete idiot as he did it. She had already seen them. And he didn’t exactly care that she did either. So he let his hand fall back to his side after only a moment.

She rolled her eyes and left the laundry to start looking behind couch cushions. Thomas hated her. Thomas loved her.

He sighed and left her to it, heading into the kitchen. He made three cups of coffee, knowing his guests would want one as well without having to check. Minho’s breakfast things were sat in the sink. Thomas’ flatmate was a man of routine; wake up at 7, get ready, have breakfast, and then his morning run. (Thomas occasionally went with him, but there wasn’t much that would have dragged away from his bed and the warm body in it that morning.)

He left the kitchen with the three mugs and Teresa relieved him of one almost immediately. She didn’t wait to see if it was hers, taking a massive sip straight away as she headed towards the bedroom. It wasn’t hers. Thomas groaned and glared down at the two milky coffees he had been left with as he followed her, as if it was their fault he now had to drink one of them instead of the stronger coffee he preferred.

“Morning.” Teresa chirped as she hopped over the loose clothes on Tomas’ bedroom floor. A groan came from the lump buried under the covers on the bed. Teresa just laughed and started rifling through the drawers, clothes she didn’t want being flung around her.

Ignoring her (because he was definitely used to his behaviour), Thomas carefully sat on the bed. Only a few drops sloshed over the edge of the mugs with the movement and he was infinitely proud. The blankets shifted and a head of fluffy blond hair appeared, closely followed by a skinny pale arm groping blindly. Thomas felt a warmth bubbling deep in his stomach and his lips pulling up into a smile, but he resolutely kept the hot liquid away from the potential disaster. Another groan, and then the blankets shifted more and Newt’s head appeared. Newt glared at him, but any bite in it was lost when he leant into Thomas’ side and nuzzled into his skin.

“Christ, you’ve got clothes everywhere Thomas.” Teresa said with a teasing smile. And she emphasised her point by throwing a cream hoodie at her best friend.

“Yeah, that’s mine.” Newt said, his voice hoarse. He grabbed the hoodie back and tucked it in beside him on the bed before sitting up fully accepting his mug from Thomas. “Isn’t it too early for you to be here harassing us?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair in no time. Just as soon as I find my blue top.” Teresa said distractedly as she searched through Thomas’ wardrobe. She leaned in further and her next words were muffled. “And then you two can get to the sexy times.”

Thomas spluttered into his coffee. He glared at her back, and then at Newt when he only laughed in response. Newt raised an eyebrow at him over his own mug, and Thomas wouldn’t have been able to keep the glare on his face even if he wanted to. Not when Newt’s eyes were sparkling with amusement like that.

“Aha, I found it!”

“Found what?” Thomas drew his eyes away from Teresa and her happy bouncing to Minho, stood in the doorway to the room. He was sweaty and breathing hard and his headphones were hung over his shoulders, the music coming from leaking softly into the room. “Please tell me it’s a passage to Narnia.”

“Ha, ha, ha.” Teresa said dryly as she stood up and moved away from the wardrobe. She pulled the white top she was wearing over her head, standing in just her bra as she sorted out the blue top she was going to change into. Newt and Minho both averted their eyes respectfully, but Thomas couldn’t be bothered. It was only Teresa’s underwear he was seeing, and after 19 years of friendship he’d seen much more beside that already anyway.

Teresa noticed their reaction as she pulled the blue top over her head. “Come on guys. Newt, you’re so gay you practically sneeze rainbows, and Minho you’re ace. I’m not gonna feel that offended if you look at my stomach and covered breasts.” She stuck her tongue out at Minho. It was childish and ridiculous after what she had just said and so Teresa that Thomas just smiled.

He couldn’t imagine his life without his best friend there, invading everything around him and giving it light.

“I’m being respectful.” Newt muttered to his coffee, at the same time that Minho laughed.

“Maybe I don’t want to see your breasts, covered or not.” He stuck his own tongue out and then walked back down the hall. And moments later Thomas heard the bathroom door shut and the shower start. Teresa rolled her eyes and turned to examine herself in the mirror inside Thomas’ wardrobe door, fluffing her hair. 

Newt yawned and leaned over Thomas, his warm skin brushing against Thomas’ arm and side, to put his mug on the bedside table. And then he burrowed back under the covers, his head resting against Thomas’ hip. Lazy Literature students. But all of Thomas’ thoughts were fond, with Newt’s comforting weight beside him and his breath tickling the skin of Thomas’ hip. If this was how it always ended up, then Thomas was fine with newt being as lazy as he wanted to be. Hell, Thomas would encourage it.

“So, who’s the lucky person _you’ll_ be having sexy times with tonight then?” Thomas asked. Teresa spun around to glare at him and Newt’s head popped back up out of the covers to stare between the two of them with wide eyes.

“You’re having sexy times with someone?” A smirk came on Newt’s face and Teresa glared at him as well. (Thomas was grateful that the two of them got on so well. It was a ridiculous idea that they wouldn’t, but he still felt a rush of relief every time he was reminded that they did.)

“I’m not having sexy times with anyone.” Teresa turned her back to them again, but rolled her eyes at them in the mirror.

Newt sat up properly and rubbed his eyes. Whether he was intrigued by the conversation or just resigned to being kept awake by Thomas and Teresa, Thomas wasn’t sure. The covers fell away from his body and Newt shivered, crossing his arms to hug his bare torso. Thomas leant closer to him and wrapped his arms around him, more than happy to share his body warmth. Newt hummed with gratitude and Thomas pressed a kiss to his neck. He was warm and heavy in Thomas’ arms, a comforting weight that made Thomas drowsy and think of curling up against him and sleeping the rest of the morning away.

But Teresa and whatever was going on with her was begging for his attention more.

“You’re specifically wearing that blue top.” Thomas told her carefully. He was enjoying teasing her, watching her squirm. Revelling in for once being the one with power, rather than the one being teased and played with. And Thomas was rewarded with a long sigh from Teresa as she kicked her converse off her feet.

“So?” Teresa didn’t look up as she laced up the black boots she had pulled out of her bag. Her voice was exasperated, but Thomas was sure he could hear a little bit of amusement there.

“That’s your ‘dress to impress’ top. You wear when you’re looking to make a good first impression. So, that means there’s someone you’re seeing today that you want to impress, most likely someone you want to impress so it’ll lead to mind-blowing, back-breaking sex.” Teresa stood up and put her hands on her hips, trying to be imposing and stern. But the stern image she was trying to present was completely ruined by the smile she couldn’t keep off her face. Thomas couldn’t stop himself from laughing and that just made Teresa’s smile grow wider.

“You two are bloody ridiculous.” Newt shook his head at them and pulled away from Thomas slightly so he had room to pull the cream hoodie over his head. Body warmth was obviously wasn’t doing enough to keep away the early morning November chill.

“Okay, you’re right, I’m trying to impress someone.” Of course Thomas was right, he knew Teresa. “But, it’s not someone I want to have sex with.” Thomas felt the smile on his face turn down into a frown as he racked his brains. He wasn’t aware of anything major going on in Teresa’s life. She was working on a midterm essay, already met her tutor and lecturers, wasn’t looking for a job. It was serious though. That Thomas could tell by how her eyes were constantly drawn back to the mirror and herself in it, checking the time on her phone and Thomas’ alarm clock every thirty seconds.

But she hadn’t told him anything about it before the day. She hadn’t told Thomas – her best friend, her confidant. Thomas couldn’t think of anything she had kept from him before. Anything she had been this worried about before. Because worried she was. Glancing around the room in between checking the time, but barely glancing at Thomas. Hesitating and being careful as she spoke, holding something back behind her usual free and joyous smiles that was causing the worry.

“I have an interview.” Teresa said, meet Thomas’ eyes for a second, before looking back to her things. She threw her converse and the top she arrived in beside the wardrobe – where a pile of her stuff had already built up. “For an internship next year.”

“That’s great.” Newt said with a large smile. Thomas smiled as well after a second. It was great. But that didn’t explain while Teresa was worried, and that made Thomas worried.

“The thing is…” Teresa trailed off, biting her lip, frowning at Thomas. “It’s with a PR company in Germany.”

Germany? Thomas hoped for a second he had misheard her. He hadn’t. He saw the smile on Newt’s face flicker and drop. Thomas could feel his own face stuck between a smile and frown, his mind stuck on that one word.

“Oh shit.” Teresa said suddenly, snapping Thomas’ attention back to her. “I’m really sorry but I’m going to be late if I don’t leave soon. I’ll call you later.” She smiled at Thomas – a sad, small smile – and then she was gone.

Thomas heard the front door open and shut behind her. He felt Newt’s questioning touch dance up his arm. But all Thomas could focus on was that one word. Germany.

-

Thomas winced as the sound of the breaking glass echoed through the flat. He scrubbed a hand down his face and then grabbed a tea towel. The pieces of the glass he had dropped had spread right across the kitchen and the effort it would take to clean it up made Thomas sigh.

He had been clumsy all day. Ever since Teresa had woken them up this morning when she was looking for her top, dropping a bomb in his lap before fleeing. All day what she had said was whirling around his mind. Germany. Germany. An internship in Germany. Thomas couldn’t focus on anything else when that was there in his mind, screaming at him. Teresa was going to move to another country. He was going to lose his best friend. Germany. Germany.

Suddenly there’s a hand over his own and another picking up the big pieces of glass in front of him. He raised his eyes from the floor and Newt is smiling carefully at him from where he’s crouched in front of Thomas. Thomas hadn’t even heard him come in, he had been so lost in his own head. Germany.

Newt helps him without saying anything, just letting Thomas try sort things out in his mind as he cleaned away all the glass. Thomas tried. He did. But even when they threw the last little pieces they could see in the bin, he was still stuck. Germany.

“You’re allowed to be upset about it, you know?” Newt said as Thomas gripped the tea towel tight in his hand, trying to ignore his thoughts.

“What?” Thomas asked. He had heard the words, processed them, but with the screaming in his mind – Germany – he missed the meaning. Trying to focus his thoughts, trying to get over Teresa leaving the fucking country.

“Teresa going to Germany, you’re allowed to be upset about it. Nobody expects you to get over it, to just be okay with it.” Of course Newt would know what was going through his mind. Of course he would know what was wrong with Thomas without having to be told anything. Newt just has to observe his friends and he can see everything.

“She has a right to go to Germany if she wants to. It’s a great opportunity and she should take it.” Thomas threw down the tea towel and pushed past Newt to leave the kitchen. He felt guilty about pushing past him, felt guilty about throwing his attempts at comfort back in his face. But he couldn’t stay cramped up in that kitchen with his mind screaming at him. He felt guiltier at the thoughts whirring through his mind of wanting Teresa to stay, of wanting her to not go to Germany, of wanting her to fuck up the interview so she didn’t get the place and didn’t have to leave. He didn’t want Newt’s comfort – even though all he wanted to do was curl up in his arms and accept it. He didn’t deserve it.

“Hey.” Newt called and grabbed his arm as he was heading back to his room, showing his surprising strength to stop Thomas and pull him back to face the other man. “Don’t be a bloody prick and walk away from me.”

Thomas wilted under his glare. “Sorry.” He mumbled, feeling like a prick now Newt had pulled his attention to how he was acting out in response to his worry. And he felt guilty about that now as well.

Newt’s glare softened and his grip on Thomas’ arm loosened. “Of course she has a right to go to Germany if she wants to. And yes it would be a fantastic opportunity that she should take. But that doesn’t mean you have to be fine with it. You’re allowed to be upset that your best friend could be moving to another country Tommy.”

Thomas felt some of the pressure in his mind from his racing thoughts, the pressure on his shoulders from the guilt weighing him down ease with Newt’s comfort. Once he actually accepted it. With the pragmatic but kind words. With the soft, warm smile Newt gave him. With the nickname only Newt could get away with calling him. But most of the pressure remained. He was still worried, he was still guilt-ridden. But the fact that it all felt manageable was a relief at least.

“Yeah.” He wasn’t really agreeing with what Newt had said, he couldn’t get over things that quickly, but it was something to cling to. Something to ground himself. He let his head fall forward onto Newt’s shoulder, sighing when a comforting hand was placed on the back of his neck.

“Hey guys are you-“ Minho’s voice stopped short and Thomas twisted his head so he could see him. His flatmate stood at the end of the hall, leaning against the wall with his eyebrow raised and the door to his room wide open behind him. “Was just going to ask if you guys are ready to go or not?” He asked, amusement clear in his voice. “But if you need a minute to be all lovey-dovey I can give you it.”

Thomas groaned and put some distance between himself and Newt – reluctantly. “I’ll just grab my stuff.” He said and walked past Minho to get to his room, leaving Newt to wait by the kitchen since he was already ready to go.

And Minho let him get all the way to his doorway before he turned back to call out over his shoulder, “We can give you a few minutes to have a cold shower if you want, so you don’t arrive at a party with a boner _again_.”

“That was one time!” Thomas slammed his door shut on Minho and Newt’s laughter. He felt indignation and embarrassment, but he was smiling to himself as he grabbed his wallet and phone from his bedside table. His friends – his annoying, ridiculous, co-dependent, but absolutely fantastic friends – knew exactly how to distract him and cheer him up.

-

Thomas finished the rest of beer in his bottle and headed to Newt’s kitchen to grab another. He skipped past the drunken people dancing in the middle fo the living room, sidestepping the coffee table that had been pushed up against the wall and politely waved off a couple of girls who tried to get him to dance.

Usually at parties he does the exact opposite. He wouldn’t drink as much, a few beers to get nicely buzzed and then that would be it. Now he had just finished his fifth and had no intention of stopping soon. Other people were already completely hammered so he wouldn’t stand out and he was looking forward to loosing himself for a night. And normally he wouldn’t be edging around the edge of the room, avoiding people. Instead he would be in the centre of it all, dancing freely and with anyone who wanted to. But he was too distracted to concentrate like that tonight. He didn’t want to be surrounded by people, he wanted an easy escape if it was needed.

He was relieved when he got into the kitchen and the noise lessened and the heat from so many people disappeared. Though his relief was short lived, because while there was only one other person in the kitchen, that person was Gally.

Gally had an issue with Thomas. Everyone knew it. Gally didn’t try to hide it and Thomas didn’t try to fix it. Ever since Thomas had first transferred to the WICKED sponsored university at the beginning of this academic year, Gally had made it clear he didn’t trust him or like him. Thomas knew it was probably because of the awkward situation that allowed his transfer, with that guy Ben losing his scholarship at the university and allowing Thomas to take it instead. Gally had been close to Ben, and it was clear he resented Thomas for taking Ben’s place. Even blaming him. It drove Thomas mad. Because everyone else knew it wasn’t his fault, no one else blamed him. Yet Gally did.

It made things awkward, at times like this, at parties and gatherings where they had to be around each other because they shared friends. When Thomas had to make do with the glares and snide comments because it was just his luck that Gally was one of Newt’s flatmates. His luck seemed better this night, since all Gally did was glare at him before turning away. It was a lot nicer than some of their interactions at previous parties.

Thomas grabbed a beer from the fridge and left as quickly as he could. He felt lost in the chaos of the living room, with the heat and the noise and people pressing against him from all sides. But really it felt a lot easier to handle than the immense pressure of Gally’s disapproval and hatred weighing down on him. He turned around, seeking out Teresa without thinking, wanting to bitch to her about Gally’s ridiculous behaviour. She understood what he went through. Gally had just as much an issue with her as he did with Thomas, and she let him rant and rave as much as he wanted.

Their other friends – Newt or Minho or Zart or anyone else really – would let him rant to them. They had done before. They saw the unfounded hate Gally had for Thomas, had done what they could to help the situation, and all made it very clear they thought Gally was wrong. But Gally had been their friend before Thomas and Teresa had come along. The glares and comments and negativity wasn’t directed at them, they didn’t experience it. So Thomas felt more comforted talking to Teresa, and not just because she had been the person he ranted and raved to since they first learned to talk.

But Teresa wasn’t there for him to rant to tonight, which was something he remembered with a stab of worry and guilt. She was meant to be there, dancing and drinking and causing a mess like she did at every one of their parties, but she had texted Newt to say she wouldn’t be there. Newt. Not Thomas, but Newt. If she had let Thomas know he wouldn’t worry, he’d think something had just come up. But she hadn’t let him know. She had let Newt know. That told Thomas that he had upset her with his reaction that morning, and with his silence during the rest of the day. And Thomas felt utterly shit about that.

He collapsed back on the settee with a sigh. Everyone else in the room was enjoying the party, chatting and dancing and singing and having fun, and Thomas hated it. He hated that he felt guilty about upsetting Teresa and for wanting her to stay. He hated that he had upset her. He hated that she was probably going to go to Germany for the year and love it there and then move permanently, leaving him behind.

“Hey.” A voice interrupted his thoughts and Thomas opened his eyes to address the speaker. (He hadn’t even realised he had closed them. He was just so exhausted from worrying all day.) Newt smiled at him softly, almost pityingly, and Thomas hated that as well – but he also loved it. A quick glance around the room and Thomas saw Winston and Clint smirking at them from where they stood across the room, having been abandoned by Newt in favour of Thomas. He couldn’t understand how he and Newt had become the soap opera of the group.

Thomas didn’t want to be the soap opera at the moment. He didn’t want their friends watching them and talking about them and speculating about them just because Thomas and Newt wouldn’t talk about the fact that they’re fucking and there may be feelings between them. But he didn’t want to wallow in his self-pity and hate all night even more. He wanted a distraction.

He surged forward and pressed his lips against Newt’s. He felt Newt flinch at the sudden movement and then respond eagerly, kissing back just as hard. His hand danced down Thomas’ chest and stomach before settling very low on Thomas’ hip. Thomas bit Newt’s lower lip, enjoying the strangled moan it pulled from him. Half the talk and mutters in the room was most definitely about them, but Thomas pushed it to the back of his mind. Let them gossip and titter. He was just going to focus on the soft lips under his and the gentle hands on his body.

-

Thomas jumped awake the next morning with a loud noise blasting right next to him. He struggled into a sitting position and his hand flew out to bedside table to grab the phone causing the offensive noise. It stopped a moment before he got his hand around the phone, but Thomas still took it off the table and brought it to him. It was Newt’s phone, displaying one missed call from Zart and a time of half 11 in the morning. Thomas groaned and scrubbed a hand down his face. He was hung-over and he had to be at his dad’s house in half an hour for lunch.

He rolled off the bed and fumbled around for his clothes. Newt and Gally wouldn’t mind if he grabbed a quick shower – or at least Newt wouldn’t mind and Gally wouldn’t really stop him – and hopefully Thomas could only be a little late for lunch. He heard a groan behind him and turned round to see Newt’s hand feeling around the other side of the bed. Thomas grabbed a towel from the drawer he knew Newt kept them while Newt realised he wasn’t there in the bed next to him.

“Why must you always get up early?” Newt complained, his eyes opening and directing a glare at Thomas.

“It’s nearly midday, and I have lunch with my dad.” Thomas shot back. He bent down to press a chaste kiss to Newt’s lips as he passed the bed. “I’m nicking a pair of boxers.” He grabbed a pair from another drawer on his way past and then left the room. Sharing clothes wasn’t new for them. They weren’t really the same size, Thomas’ muscles making him that little bigger than Newt’s willowy frame, but they were close enough that wearing each other’s clothes was possible.

He wrapped the towel he had grabbed around his waist as he left the room, something he was grateful he had thought to do when he passed the kitchen and realised Gally was there. Gally glared at him as he passed and Thomas smiled back at him, nowhere near too hung-over or rushed to miss the chance to annoy him. It got him a harsher glare and a chance to see Gally clenching his jaw before Thomas shut the bathroom door behind him. It wouldn’t do anything to help the situation with Gally, but he just couldn’t resist taunting him.

He tried to time his shower just right – allowing enough time for the warm water to wake him up but not lingering for too long, making himself even later. He managed to make it out in just under 15 minutes, teeth-cleaned, freshly showered and wearing just the boxers he had taken from Newt’s drawer. Gally was nowhere to be seen as Thomas walked back through the apartment to Newt’s room. Thomas was glad. He did enjoy teasing and pushing Gally, but Gally did push back, harshly, and Thomas wanted to go to his dad’s in a good mood.

He expected to find Newt curled up and sound asleep again when he got back in the room. But instead, Thomas found him sat on the edge of the bed in a pair of pyjama trousers with some clothes folded on his lap. He smiled sleepily at Thomas and hid a yawn behind his hand.

“Wear these.” He said, holding the clothes out to Thomas. Thomas took them from him but didn’t put them on straight away, looking to his own clothes in a pile in the corner of the room first instead. Newt sighed and frowned at him, speaking in that disappointed but amused voice that Thomas never knew whether he should hate or love hearing. “You can’t go to your dad’s wearing the clothes you wore to a party last night.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” Thomas pulled the trousers and top on, realising they fit much better than any of Newt’s clothes would. He looked down at the top, trying to remember where he had seen the design before because he was sure it hadn’t been on Newt.

“They’re Gally’s.” Newt answered before Thomas could ask. It was said carefully, but still with that same layer of amusement. Newt was usually amused by Gally and Thomas’ issue – especially with some of the more embarrassing outcomes that Thomas preferred to pretend didn’t happen but the guys would never let him live them down. (And the times when the issue between Gally and Thomas resulted in more than just an embarrassing outcome, the times when it was cruel and left someone hurt, didn’t amuse Newt. But everyone was lucky those times were very rare.)

Thomas thought about saying something, thought about refusing the clothes. But he realised that would just be spiteful and silly. Newt was right. He couldn’t go to lunch wearing the clothes he had worn last night – the clothes that probably smelt like beer and smoke and sex. So he was going to accept Gally’s clothes with limited grumbling.

He left Newt and Gally’s place at 10 to 12 with one last quick kiss with Newt and a promise to see him and return the clothes the next day. He sent a text to his dad to let him know he was going to be a little late for dinner, but fortunately not too late since it would only take time 15 minutes to walk there.

Abigail, his dad’s wife, answered the door with a wide smile and immediately swept Thomas up into a hug. Thomas hugged her back. Her still vibrant brown hair was pulled back into a loose bun and her and the only real signs of age were the laugh lines on her face that spoke of a joyful life. She was nearly always smiling. When she had married his dad five years ago Thomas had been worried – his fourteen year old mind thinking of fairy tales and stories with evil stepmothers, scared he was going to lose the small amount of time and attention he got from his dad after he divorced his mum and moved away. It had been ridiculously unfounded though. Abby was lovely, always seeming to hit the perfect balance between being involved as a loving stepmum and taking a step back as only his dad’s wife. It helped that she had her own child to focus on as well.

“Thomas!” Chuck came barrelling down the hall and hugged Thomas as soon as Abby let him go. Thomas hugged back and ruffled the kid’s hair once he pulled away.

“Your dad’s in the kitchen finishing lunch.” Abby told him, pulling Chuck closer to her and redoing the button of his shirt. Chuck sighed but let her do it and Thomas laughed as he headed towards the kitchen. The kid was always moving and rushing around the place, never stopping to take a breath and make sure his clothes were buttoned up properly. Typical thirteen year old kid really.

“Hey.” His dad turned away from the worktop at Thomas’ greeting and waved him over.

“Hey. Grab the salad dressing over there for me, will you?” Thomas grabbed the bottle on his way over.

They finished off the lunch in an easy, comfortable silence. The type of comfortable silence they experienced with each other when Thomas was younger and his dad and mum were still married and living together. It made Thomas remember Sundays spent making cakes and biscuits, Saturdays in the garden with their hands and faces covered in dirt, and afternoons painting the living room walls. Then his parents had gotten divorced and his dad moved away. They had tried to stay in contact, saw each other for weekends and even weeks, wrote emails and had phone calls that lasted hours. But they had grown apart. Thomas had got caught up in the shit of his hometown, his dad had got caught up in the craziness of his new life in a new city, and Thomas’ mum had not gone out of her way to help. It was only a year ago, when Thomas found out he had a chance to get a scholarship to the prestigious WICKED University situated in the city his dad lived in, that they actually started talking properly again. And then when Thomas got his place, moved to the city, and they started having lunch and seeing each other regularly there was no awkwardness there at all. It was just like being back before the divorce. Except better. They had both grown and both had a new family with Abby and Chuck. So now they spend time together again, making food and gardening and doing small tasks, and it’s even better than it was when Thomas was younger, just adding to his fond memories.

“So how did that essay go?” His dad asked when they all sat down to eat. The essay that Thomas had submitted last Thursday had been a lot of work and Thomas had been pretty much freaking out over it. His dad had picked up on his worry last Sunday during lunch, even though Thomas was trying hard to not talk or think about it.

“It went well. Maybe not my best work but I was happy with it in the end.” Thomas answered between bites of his sandwich.

“I knew you had it in you.” His dad said and reached round the table to clap him on the shoulder.

“It’s a weekend David, let him have a break from schoolwork.” Abby chastised, but she smiled proudly and nudged the bowl of crisps closer to Thomas. “We’re both real proud of everything you do though’. He grabbed a handful of crisps with a grateful smile.

Thomas was glad they lived nearby, that he could see them all so often. He felt happy and content as a part of this family. A feeling he didn’t get any more when he went home, with his mum not paying attention really now she didn’t need to for him to survive, and having changed while his old friends hadn’t. They still spouted their faux-liberal bullshit that Thomas used to spout as well. Fortunately he had realised it was bullshit and learnt from his mistake. They hadn’t yet though. His new friends knew it though – Minho and Newt and Zart and Winston and Jeff and everyone else. Even Gally. So Thomas couldn’t help but enjoy spending his time with them a little more than with his friends back home now, no matter how much he still loved them to some extent.

It was weird, realising how much he had changed. How just a year ago he was fine with his mum, Teresa and his old friends back home. But now, after making the decision to go to this WICKED University despite the organisation suggesting he and Teresa take an internship with them straight away, he had changed. He had grown and was still growing, and he was different. Different in a way that made him more comfortable with his dad, Abby and Chuck and his new friends and Teresa. And so it was always hard when he had to leave this new environment and go home.

“You’re not in lectures or anything tomorrow, are you?” Abby asked as they were clearing the table away. Thomas had insisted on helping despite her instance that he was their guest. His dad and Chuck were washing and drying on the other side of the kitchen.

“Yeah, Monday is completely free for me.”

“I’ve got a half day, can I come hang with you then?” Chuck asked, running over with an excited smile and the tea towel and the fork he was drying still in his hands.

“Yeah, sure thing.” Thomas agreed. He enjoyed spending time with Chuck, and he was more than happy to have the kid around for the afternoon. Chuck whooped and then ran back to the sink to help with the rest of the washing up.

“Thank you.” Abby whispered, checking over her shoulder to make sure Chuck couldn’t hear her. Thomas knew why. Chuck had an issue making friends with other kids his age, at school and in the neighbourhood. It wasn’t like there was anything wrong with Chuck, he was fun and he was likeable – and yeah, he put his foot in his mouth too often and could probably chill out a bit, but it wasn’t anything major. The kid just couldn’t seem to connect. But he did get on with Thomas, and Teresa, and the people Thomas hung out with at uni. And they actually liked Chuck too so enjoyed hanging around with him. Thomas knew Abby was grateful, but that wasn’t the reason Thomas did it. He really liked Chuck – he was his brother in all but blood – and the kid deserved some friends and fun in his life.

-

The next day found Thomas and Chuck sat in Thomas and Minho’s living room playing video games. They had pushed the side table they used as a coffee table to the side so they could sprawl out on the carpet and lean back against the couch as they tried to kill each other with laser guns.

“Take that! Pow, pow!” Thomas laughed at Chucks’ commentary and grabbed a slice of pizza as Chuck’s character killed his. Thomas would probably let the kid win if he wasn’t so damn good at the game. Even when Thomas put in as much effort as he could and has had a week full of practice against Minho, Chuck kicked his ass anyway. Thomas wasn’t awful though. He could hold his own enough to make the game fun.

They just started another round of battles, when the front door of the flat opened and Teresa and Newt came in. They were wrapped up in coats and scarves and gloves and their cheeks and noses were red from the cold. Thomas gave a vague greeting, instead focusing on trying to get the upper hand in the first minute of the battle. Chuck responded just as well as usual, foiling most of Thomas’ attacks to the point where he was button-mashing just to try get even a few hits in past Chuck’s excellent defensive skills.

“I’m just saying,” Teresa was saying as she and Newt came out of the hall with their coats and bags left by the door, Newt carrying Minho’s keys, which meant they’d bumped into him at some point during the day. Thomas noted the slight element of irritation in Teresa’s voice so paid attention to what she was saying even while he carried on playing the game. (There was a high chance that she could still be irritated with him, since they hadn’t actually spoken about what happened or fixed the issue between them. But she was at his place, so Thomas was hopeful and pretty sure it was at least some progress.) “I’m sick of sitting next to these ass-hats who go on and on about ‘the gays’ as though we’re some mystical species they’ll never encounter when I’m sitting right next to them.”

Chuck made a combo move causing Thomas’ character to crumple on the screen and then he turned to Teresa. “But you’re not gay. I thought you were…” He trailed off, concentrating hard on remembering the word he was missing. “I thought you were that pot thing that Thomas is.”

“It’s pansexual, Chuck.” Thomas corrected him and paused the game since they weren’t playing anymore. Chuck had turned around fully to talk to Teresa and Newt as they sat down on the couch behind them. Thomas leant against Newt’s good leg and trailed his fingers up the inside of his calf. He felt the leg shiver beside him and then Newt whacked the back of his head. It only made Thomas smile though.

“It doesn’t matter if I’m pan or not.” Teresa carried on, rolling her eyes at Thomas and Newt. “Society and the ‘gay community’ throw around things like gay rights and gay marriage in reference to all LGBT+ people so I have just as much right to use it as a general term.” Her tone was sharp and passionate, not harsh but fiery. She was passionate about the politics side of things in a way that awed Thomas. It was amazing to see. And then as an afterthought she turned to Newt with a slightly guilty look. “No offense Newt.”

“Oh, none taken.” Newt said, his voice filled with amusement. “As a gay man I hereby give you permission to use the tem anyway you want to.”

“Thank you.” Teresa nodded and winked at Newt, and Thomas and Chuck both laughed.

“Maybe next seminar the two of you should just dress completely in rainbows and see if anyone takes note.” Teresa laughed at Thomas’ suggestion and Newt tugged gently on his ear. Chuck gave a small smile, amused but not so confident with the topic to be completely obvious about it. Especially given Teresa and Newt’s different reactions.

“That would be the perfect way to get us both completely ostracised from even an English Literature class.” Newt frowned, a thoughtful look on his face telling of previous experiences with coming out to classes that didn’t go well. Thomas felt the urge to lean up and kiss him and try chase the bad memories away. Teresa caught his attention though, before he was able to completely embarrass himself. (Chuck didn’t know about whatever it was that was going on with Thomas and Newt yet. For a reason, because Thomas had no idea what it was really. And Thomas didn’t particularly want him to find out by seeing them kiss randomly.)

“Can we talk for a minute?” Teresa asked when he turned his attention from Newt to her. She was smiling and she seemed less irritated – which was good for Thomas – but she was serious. Thomas nodded and dragged himself to his feet. He knew this conversation was going to be about the internship and the issues between them, and he knew they’d both rather have it with an element of privacy.

“Come on Chuck.” Newt slid off the couch and folded himself into Thomas’ vacated spot, being careful of his bad leg. “I’ll give you a real challenge.”

“Ooh, hit me where it hurts, my gaming skills.” He said with mock offence and held a hand to his chest. Chuck laughed before turning his attention back to the game and Thomas and Teresa went to his room.

“And of course this place is still a complete tip.” Thomas rolled his eyes at her comment, but found himself kicking the clothes on his floor to the side as he walked to his bed anyway. Teresa followed him and they both laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Close enough that their arms brushed against each other.

They always ended up physically close in a way that spoke of their years of friendship, even when there was a tension between them. It reminded Thomas of the sleepovers they had where they would curl up together under the same duvet or when they would hold hands in school when one of them got in trouble. The friendship he had with Teresa wasn’t worth risking or messing with just because of some silly internship. Even if they were apart for a year, living in completely different countries, it would be more than fine. The physical closeness was a fantastic part of their friendship. It was something Thomas loved, something he needed in a way. But that was just because of the strong connection they had, the emotions and feelings that the closeness represented. And even if they were on opposite sides of the world, that connection would still be there even without the physicality of it. Their friendship would survive the internship. It wouldn’t survive Thomas being a brat though.

“I’m sorry.” He said to the ceiling. He felt awful for his reaction on Saturday and couldn’t bring himself to look at Teresa just yet. Not till he had it all out. “I should have reacted better. I’m allowed to be upset about you going, but it’s your life and if you want to go I’m going to support you all the way.” Thomas looked at Teresa then and she was staring at him with a soft smile.

“That sounded like a Newt speech.” She said softly, her tone teasing and her eyes sparkling with amusement. Thomas laughed himself when he realised she was right, he had pretty much just repeated what Newt had told him. But that didn’t make it any less true, and Teresa saw that. “Good choice. Newt’s speeches are good. I would like it put on record that I accept your apology. And that you’re a complete dumbass.”

Thomas huffed out another laugh. “That I am.”

Both of them looked back at the ceiling and lay there in a comfortable silence. Thomas felt his stomach clench at the thought that this could be a moment he would have to treasure, to cling to so he could remember when she was in Germany next year. It sucked. But it was something that he could deal with. Because the internship was a fantastic opportunity and Teresa wanted it. Thomas could take all the stomach clenches and painful moments that came with it for her.

“You’ll be okay here without me.” Teresa said eventually, rolling onto her said and laying over Thomas’ chest. “I know it’ll suck and you’ll be rather lost, because I’m amazing, but you’ll be okay. You have your dad and Abby and Chuck and the guys now, a proper support structure.” The rather than his mum and the friends from back home went unsaid, but Thomas heard it anyway. If Teresa had gone away a few years ago, Thomas would have been completely fucked. He cared for his old friends, he loved his mum in a way, but for most of his childhood Teresa was his person. She was the only person he felt truly supported by back then. But things were different now.

“And you have Newt.” Thomas looked down at Teresa and glared at her amused smile. She looked way too happy bringing up that subject and Thomas responded by pushing her off him. She fell back onto the bed and laughed. “Seriously though, we haven’t really talked about you and Newt yet.”

Thomas took a second, thinking carefully about how to respond to that. But eventually he realised he didn’t really have a response. “There’s not really much to talk about.”

“Oh come on.”

“No, really. You’ve pretty much seen everything there is about me and Newt.” Thomas sighed and rubbed his eyes. He didn’t really want to be talking about this – but at the same time he kind of did. It was confusing as hell. “We flirt, we kiss, we have sex. That’s about it.”

“Thomas.” Teresa sat up and pulled at his arm until he sat up to. This was a serious conversation outside the little bubble of just them two. “It’s more than that. You have feelings for him. You can’t hide that from me, I know you too well. And I’m pretty sure Newt has feelings too. He’s completely all over you.”

“Yeah, there may be feelings.” He allowed, trying to ignore the excited smile that came on Teresa’s face. She was practically bouncing on the bed beside him at the admittance. Thomas wondered why he kept admitting things to her. “It’s complicated.”

“It’s complicated?” The confusion and doubt in Teresa’s voice echoed exactly what Thomas felt about the entire situation. And he didn’t exactly want to face that now.

“Yeah. It’s complicated.” He stood up and walked to the other side of the room. He didn’t need Teresa to tell him how confusing the thing with Newt was. Thomas knew it all too well. But Thomas didn’t want to think about the fact that feelings could be involved but they were both ignoring it, because when he did think about it he thought about having a relationship with Newt. He thought about calling Newt his boyfriend and taking him for lunch with his dad and Abby. And then he thought about how much Newt avoided the topic. He had no idea what Newt thought about the thing between them, and without that knowledge Thomas was not prepared to open that can of worms. He didn't want to mess with what they already had.

“So you’re fine just being friends with benefits?” Teresa asked, sounding disappointed and disbelieving. Thomas didn’t answer. Not because he couldn’t, because he knew exactly how he felt about being friends with benefits, he just wasn’t prepared to admit it to Teresa or himself.

-

It was just over a week later when Teresa heard back about the interview. A bunch of them were in Thomas and Minho’s living room in the middle of a movie marathon. It was something they did every other Wednesday, to let off steam and relax amidst all the work and pressure of university. Thomas was sat in the middle of the couch with Newt pressed up against one of sides and Teresa leant against the other.

Thomas stroked Newt’s hair occasionally as he watched the generic, bloody action film Winston had chosen for them to watch. His conversation with Teresa was playing his mind. Since hearing her words he had been thinking about him and Newt almost continuously. He hated it. He had been able to ignore the issue when he was just ignoring it himself in his own mind, when he could pretend there was nothing there and he was fine. But now Teresa had pointed things out to him, showing she saw it and understood it to, he couldn’t just ignore it. He couldn’t push things to the back of his mind and just enjoy what he had with Newt. Now he was thinking and considering. And even hoping. And he really hated it.

Then Teresa’s phone started ringing. They had started the marathon early, so even thought they were now in their second film it was still only late afternoon. So Teresa pulled her phone out of her pocket and clambered over Minho, Zart and Winston who were laid out on the floor in front of the couch and went into Thomas’ room to take the call.

As soon as the door shut behind her, Minho and Winston were wrestling to get to the now free space on the couch first. And as they wrestled, Jeff came in from the kitchen and quickly dived onto the seat before they could stop him. Minho and Winston swore and threw cushions at Jeff, while Gally just laughed and sat himself down on the floor beside him. Which also happened to be as far away from Thomas as possible. Thomas would take it though, because they were enjoying a movie marathon and they hadn’t argued yet today, so he definitely wasn’t complaining about something as trivial as that.

They made it through another ten minutes of the film before Teresa came back out. She threw shook her head at Winston and collapsed down on the floor. She nudged the guys until they were where she wanted them and leant back against the couch. Thomas wanted to ask what the call had been, knowing that she was expecting a call back about the internship and she had been on the phone for a while. But she seemed okay, so Thomas left it alone for now and instead tried to focus on the movie.

“I’m going out for a cigarette.” Gally announced when the film was over and Minho was trying to decide what they were going to watch next.

“Can I steal one please?” Teresa asked suddenly, standing up quickly and stepping over the bodies laid out on the floor. Thomas pulled his attention away from Newt to look at her. She was not okay. She hardly smoked, but she did when she was upset or stressed and needed a break. But by the time Thomas managed to untangle himself from the couch, Gally had already agreed with Winston’s encouragement despite his hesitance and confusion and he and Teresa were out the door.

“Tommy?” Thomas looked back at Newt, seeing his confusion and worry. Thomas didn’t know how to answer to it, how to explain that he just knew Teresa so well that it was clear to him he needed to talk to her about what was wrong. (Although, if he explained it like that, then maybe he could. He could never explain the intricacies of how he knew something was wrong and exactly what Teresa needed, but Newt would understand that he did know something was wrong. Newt would understand that their years of friendship meant he knew Teresa that well. He would understand because he was in a similar position with Alby.)

“I need to go make sure she’s okay.” That would have to be enough.

He left the flat as well, trying to think of what to say to her, how to broach the subject as he went down the stairs and out the front door of the building. Gally and Teresa were only a few meters away from the front door, already lit up. Gally rolled his eyes when he saw Thomas come out the door and stepped further away. Teresa watched him move with a frown and turned to Thomas. Her free arm was crossed over her chest and she bit the inside of her cheek every time she pulled the cigarette away from her mouth.

“What is it?” Thomas asked, not bothering with any of the lead up lines he had planned in his mind. They were all half-arsed anyway and Teresa didn’t need them. If she was going to talk about what was wrong she would, if she wasn’t then she wouldn’t.

“The phone call, it was about the internship.” She answered eventually. Then she paused to take a long drag and Thomas waited, giving her the time she needed. And when she spoke again, her voice was strained. “I didn’t get it.”

Thomas didn’t know what to say to that. She wanted that position, and she fucking deserved it. She was upset about not getting it, even though she was doing what she usually did and hiding most of the emotion. But Thomas knew her, and it didn’t take a genius to see that she was not okay. He let her finish her cigarette, and then pulled her into a hug. He had an equal chance of the hug being accepted or rejected – especially since they were out on the street and Gally was only a short distance away – and he sighed with relief when Teresa hugged back. He didn’t know how he could help her in any way, but he could comfort her.

“They said I could reapply next semester for another position.” Teresa explained as they headed back upstairs to the flat. Gally was trailing behind a little, letting them have some privacy in his own way. Thomas was grateful. “Apparently I just didn’t have enough experience in the area yet, but if I get some then I would be a much stronger candidate.” The resentment and disappointment in her voice was clear, but as she spoke it lessened a little. She was upset about not getting the internship, and that was making her bitter. But Thomas knew, he could already see it, that it would soon develop to hope. Hope that would turn to determination and fighting and she would apply again and definitely get it next time. But now she was upset.

When they got back in the room, the guys were arguing over films. Minho, Winston and Zart were huddled around a selection of DVDs and arguing and shouting over each other while Newt and Jeff occasionally offered suggestions and comments from the couch. Teresa took a breath and pushed back the negative feelings from losing the internship. She winked at Thomas before walking into the room and collapsing down on the couch between Newt and Jeff. Thomas went after her, stopping for a moment to pick up a random film and put it into the TV to stop the ridiculous arguments. Minho glared at him but shuffled back anyway, accepting the choice had been made. Thomas settled on the floor in front of the couch, leaning back against the couch between Newt and Teresa’s legs, while the film began.

A feeling of relief settled over him as he realised what had just happened. Teresa wouldn’t be leaving for a year. She would be staying. He didn’t have to loose having her close by, he didn’t have to loose being able to hang out with her and hug her and be near her whenever he wanted to. But then he felt guilty as well. She was upset, she had lost out on a great opportunity, and here he was feeling relieved by it. But he couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to her to go. He was prepared to accept it if she did went, prepared to deal with it. But he was really glad that she wasn’t going.

Especially that she wasn’t going now. Thomas was still lost. Lost in who he was, where he was, what he was doing. And it was so selfish, but he needed Teresa there to help him figure it out. Newt’s fingers found their way to his neck, dancing across his hairline and settling comfortably over on his shoulders. Thomas needed Teresa’s help with Newt, finding out where he stood with him, working up the courage to actually do something about the feelings he probably did have for him. And he needed Teresa’s help to carry on making his relationship with his dad and Abby work, and he needed her help to stay committed to working hard. He needed her help with everything really at the moment.

Thomas was stuck in limbo. He put himself forward as self-assured, because that’s what he’s always done, what he’s always been like. But really he wasn’t. He was completely lost. He had been someone completely different a few years ago when he lived with his mum. And then he had started changing, and he was still changing, so he didn’t know where he stood. And he needed to find out, because the limbo was great for self-discovery, but not for a permanent way of being. He wanted to know who he was. And he was sure he was going to need Teresa to do that. He looked up at her, and she was focused completely on the film playing, leaning against Newt with her legs over Jeff’s lap. It felt and sounded a lot like using her, and he knew it was co-dependent and unhealthy in a way, and that was something he would have to deal with eventually as well.

But for now, he leaned into Newt’s hand when it shifted up to stoke his hair and message his scalp and focused on the random comedy film he had chosen, enjoying what he did have in the limbo he was in. Enjoying having Teresa with him, enjoying what he did have with Newt, enjoying being with his friends. No matter how complicated it all was.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr, currently alphaenjolras


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